Today was a busy one. Duh, the title. We had a nice lunch with a mom and daughter we have bonded with from MDA summer camp. We had pool therapy and speech therapy for Garrett, but the first order of business was a neurology checkup for Garrett and Addie. Addie's was pretty much a run through appointment to get her health papers signed to release her to MDA camp at the end of the month. Dr. older chatted with her for a few minutes, checked her reflexes and noted her eyes were pretty droopy. Hhhmm. Then came Garrett's turn. Daddy-O and I have noticed that Garrett is looking really scrawny these days. He has gotten taller, but he looks like a little walking skeleton. Some black shoe polish and a pot belly and he would look like those suffering Ethopian children we see on the Feed the Chuldren fundraisers. SO when Dr. Golden came in, I was sure to have Garrett's shirt off so I would have her look at him. She said she sees changes, and not ones that extra calories can help. She thinks his muscles are showing atrophy, or wasting. His little upper arms look so frail, and his thighs, too. I thought maybe we needed to just fatten him up some, but the way the little dude eats, I have no idea how we can make him pork-up. She wants us to see the GI doc soon as he is having more constipation. She also wants us to meet with his pediatrician to talk about monitoring his blood sugar. Then there is another specialist we need to see...endocrine. She said to try the pediasure type drinks again if he will drink them. She thinks a couple more pounds would most benefit him if he gets sick and needs some fat stored for that. But she is pessimistic that we will see his weight improve and doesn't think that even gaining weight will help the wasting. She is really looking forward to getting the muscle biopsy results back so we know more about him.
To say I am a bit concerned is the understatement of the century. My heart is heavy, my brain feels tired, and I feel scared tonight. The evening at home was great. Daddy-O was home after two nights away and we swam and played outside and then watched Johnny Tremain, a movie about him, and based on a book we read this past year in our homeschool program, Sonlight. www.sonlight.com
It was good to have distractions. It was hard to focus, but it was good not to!!! I took a long bath with my little Ethiopian tonight in the girls' tub. We had fun playing like Garrett's rubber ducks were at the fair. He was hilarious!!!
He is also sleeping more now and complaining of the heat outside. Bummer.
Who really knows what's next for any of us. But I can say that I am horrified I am watching my little boy wither away..............PLEASE GOD let these tests give us direction and methods of helping our

Daddy-O and I have been planning to move since, well, since we moved here and realized our main reason for moving near his hometown wasn't an option any longer......long, long story. So we have stayed here and truly enjoyed being near his family. But now his military retirement is rapidly approaching, he has a new job for post-military years, and we are so blessed with all of this. However, we are still looking for that "perfect" place to raise our flock of kiddos, afford some land, finally, and enjoy a cooler climate for the sake of Addie and Garrett and their low heat tolerance. SO we search. And we have found at least 20 different "perfect" towns and somewhere near 10 "perfect" homes on the market that fit our bill. But it's so weird. So far nothing has come of our home being on the market, but it's on FSBOBR.com, a for sale by owner site. And we just put a sign in the yard this weekend. It will be listed with a realtor in June.  I am rambling. Here's another attempt to make the point:
Where is home? I mean, really, where is THAT PLACE???? If it is here in this house where I lie in bed blogging, then so be it, but we feel it isn't, and that's after 8 years of soul searching. Is it one of those 20 towns we have identified in the western USA? Is it in my parent's back yard on their GORGEOUS 50 acres in Alabama? I want, want, want, and I think somehow that getting to a specific place will make everything "feel" better. I think I can think of this now because relatively speaking, Addie and Garrett are doing well right now. SO I let my mind get selfish. I believe I am wanting something idealistic: a perfect earthly home with a guest cabin, small home but charming, a barn, some pasture for our horses, something pretty outside my windows, preferably mountains. I want to live minutes from a very small town where I can get milk and get my mail,maybe get a tire repaired, go to church, not a big, fancy one, but a small one where I can lead a kids' Sunday School class and my kids are around really kind, simple ranch and farm kids who have the same moral fabric we have. I want privacy, some social opportunities, and I REALLY, REALLY want land for Daddy-O to farm. Farm anything....hay, beans, corn, alfalfa, sugar beets.....he loves farming soooooo much, and I would love for him to be able to farm. And the kids and I would love that, too.  I am trying to force my heaven onto earth. I am longing for beautiful views, comfort, stability, simplicity.......is that possible here? I pray about my dear friend and her family who lost their sweet 2 year old in an accident almost a year ago. I pray for my mom's cousin and his wife and their son, two of them which are struggling with numerous health issues. I pray for my friend's brother's family who lost their son to cancer.....so young....so confusing. I pray for all of our friends online who suffer from Mitochondrial DIsease. I pray for victims of starvation, violence, natural disaster, cancer, and other diseases. But why do we hve to watch this all go down. Why do we have to live it out? What's the point? So here I sit and want and want and want....want things, perfect health for my family and those I love and EVERYONE, I want all the things I mentioned earlier, but they are not things that are likely to all fall into place here, in this life. I believe I long for HOME, our real home in Heaven, should we choose to accept Christ as our Savior. When I let myself ponder all of this and I realize what I am longing for, death doesn't seem like something so scary. It seems logical. It means I want things, places, situations, and maybe it is really my Heavenly home or which I am homesick. I thank God for pointing this out to me more and more. It still doesn't make things on earth seem reasonable, fair or even tolerable in many, many tough situations, but my Father has promised paradise, and I hope I see each of you there!!!!

Thanks for stumbling through my mind tonight. I have had a steroid shot  for yet another sinus and throat infection due to these lovely allergies I have had since moving here. I started an antibiotic as well....can this affect my mind???? Oh well, thanks for sticking this one out!! Oh, and did you know that the needle the nurse used to give me the steroid shot was the size of a water hose????